Crisis alert -- the butt of the joke

I worry about the state of the male buttock. Something is destroying the buttock of the Italian man -- they seem to have NONE. Where have they gone? Where firm, pert cheeks ought reside under the fabric, there seems only to be saggy gappy nothing. After much study, visual research and critical debate, K and I have determined the Italian male buttock to be in significant decline -- perhaps nearing extinction.  It is very sad.  If you are like us (and I know many of you are) then you will commisserate with us on this sad state.  I believe the key problem is the current and unfortuate style of pant -- the low riding blue jean, with narrow vertical pockets that begin halfway down the cheek.  Baggy and nasty in my esteem. What to do?

Speaking of male body parts, the frontal genitalia seem to have quite the story to tell in renaissance art -- both in frescoes and statuary. On statues  we notice the male form to be extremely well built - chest, thigh, bicep, calf, abdomen -- regulary depicted as young, well formed and to be admired.  Aha, but the male genitalia on the statues -- not so much -- not really in proportion with the rest of the form? Why?  Apparently it was not considered 'couth' to provide the statue with a proportionate or even realistic 'package'. So they are all rather poorly, (read pathetically) endowed (read hung).  If only the artists and their handsome models had known that, centuries into the future, women and men of the modern world would look upon them with sadness and pity for their rather insignificant family jewels.  So sad.  And now, the baggy ass pants that hide the buttocks of the modern Italian male.

And in the art? Frescoes of the judgment and descent into heaven or hell clearly indicate whether or not a man would be heaven or hell bound. Those headed up to their reward sport realistic and normal-sized genitalia.  However, those headed for eternal damnation, like the monsters awaiting them, are cursed with the 'pencil-dick' as K has cleverly dubbed them.  Long, skinny and nasty paraphernalia they are, too.  Keep them  devil dicks away from us nice girls.

We will continue in our relentless search for a decent buttock on the Italian male.  Their faces are virile, handsome and often chiseled, not matching the back-end at all. Give me strength. Rome and Florence have proven fruitless in our quest.  Perhaps Venezia has more to offer. One can only hope.
ciao ciao/lah
ps save for one misplaced female vagina on a plaster cast I saw yesterday, the female form is treated much more realistically by the painters and sculptors of the renaissance; and latter day Italian women's fashion is clearly designed to flatter and show off the female buttock for all to see and admire....
pps I will be writing to Russell Smith to see if he can help influence the designers of men's pants to correct this terrible blight on the Italian male and in doing so, save the planet